Fly Me To The Moon
by ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: "May we meet again." - Modern AU - BELLARKE - Multichap - WIP
1. Chapter 1

**Fly Me To The Moon**

 _"Fly me to the moon **  
**Let me play among the stars **  
**Let me see what spring is like **  
**On jupiter and mars"_

* * *

"You cannot be serious, Clarke! Tell me you don't mean that. _Please!"_ He is pleading with her but Clarke silently shakes her head. She desperately is trying to suppress her tears and appear hard.

"I am dead serious, Bellamy. I'm not doing this again. Never would I ask you to decide between your job and I. Being a soldier is your life, I know that, Bell, and I would never ask you to stay. But this is your fourth tour now and I know you'll say it's going to be the last time but you already said that before you went to your second tour and then again before the third one and I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore. Sitting for month alone in this – in _our –_ apartment, constantly worrying if you'll come back to me and not knowing if I'll ever see you again... I can't do this anymore, Bell. I don't _want_ to do this anymore."

"Clarke-" Bellamy's voice cracks.

"I'm sorry." And she means it. "But I think it'd be better if we both try and move on." Just saying that feels like stabbing herself in the gut. Her chest tightens and she feels sick to her stomach but she knows it the right thing to do.

Tears are spilling down Bellamy's cheeks and he viciously shakes his head and it hurts Clarke seeing him like this – being the reason he's in this pain, breaking his heart. It feels awful and she hates herself for it but for once in her life she decides to be a little selfish. Just this one time, Clarke decides to put her own feelings first. It hurts her as much as it hurts him but she knows it's what she needs. It's for her own good.

Bellamy takes a step towards her, cupping her face in his hands and finally the dam breaks. A dry sob escapes her and she feels the moisture running down her face.

Then his lips finally descend on her own and he is kissing her like a dying man. His lips aren't soft against hers; it's a hard, bruising kiss. They are both crying and her hands fly up to wipe the tears from his face. She also kisses him back with all the strength she can muster. Clarke knows that it's probably the last time that she will ever feel his hot breath fanning over her cheeks, his tongue pushed deep into her mouth and the hard panels of his body pressed against hers.

As if Bellamy knows that she's saying goodbye with this kiss, he breaks apart and whispers – _pleads_ , "I love you!"

They are both still cupping the other's face; Bellamy's gaze bores into hers.

Clarke hiccups and closes her eyes – trying to escape the pain that is clearly visible in his usually warm, laughing brown orbs – as heavy sobs wreck her small frame.

Her hands lay over his where they are still holding her face and slowly peels them off.

"I never doubted that and I love you, too. God, I love you so much, Bell! And it hurts me to do this, it does. But I don't want to have a relationship with someone who's never home."

"I'll stay. Clarke, I won't go. Please stop, I can't lose you. I love you, Princess! You're more important to me. I don't want to lose you, I can't. You mean too much to me. _Just...please!"_

Clarke brings his hands – she's still holding – to her lips and kisses each knuckle. Her vision is blurry from her tears but she can still see the tears spilling from Bellamy's eyes.

"Bellamy, I could never live with the knowledge that I made you neglect your duty. You'd eventually start to hate me and the man I fell in love with would never let down his country."

He knows, she is right. Clarke can see it in the way, his eyes close and his whole face twists in pain. He wouldn't be happy if he stayed; the guilt would slowly eat him alive and Clarke could never look in a mirror again if she took this part away from him – a part she deeply fell in love with.

She presses a last, soft kiss against his closed lips, lingering for a couple seconds, before stepping back and taking the bag she packed after work.

At the front door, Clarke cannot resist to look over her shoulder – the pull is simply too strong.

Bellamy is still standing exactly where she left him – eyes pressed shut and hands trembling, silently crying. Another sob escapes her and she quickly escapes from the apartment. The door closes with a soft click behind her.

For a moment, Clarke leans her back against the wooden frame, taking a deep breath.

" _May we meet again_."

* * *

 _"In other words, I love you"_

* * *

 **Okay I know this is simply cruel but I PROMISE that that's not it. I had this idea a couple days ago and so I started writing the first chapter. Just writing this mentally hurt me but I will continue this – eventually. And yes, this is a BELLARKE fic.  
I'm not gonna tell what this is about yet but it's not over.**

 **Lemme know what ya think!**

 **Loads of love -Katharina**

 **PS. Song's by Frank Sinatra (because he was just awesome)**


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

As soon as Jake Griffin opens the front door and sees his daughter with a duffel bag and a tear-streaked face standing on his porch, he knows something is awfully wrong. And since she's alone, it probably has something to do with Bellamy and his deployment.  
He knows, Bellamy's a good guy. He sees the way the man looks at Clarke like she hung the moon, the sun and the stars all together. Jake knows that he would never intentionally hurt his little girl.

But Clarke looks heartbroken and without needing to say something Jake Griffin opens his arms for his daughter to fall against him and bury her face in the crook of his neck. And it is as if a dam breaks because she chokes out a "Daddy!" while heavy sobs wreck her small body.

It breaks his old heart, seeing his only daughter – daddy's little girl – so utterly destroyed.  
Not knowing what else to do, Jake rocks them back and forth, makes soothing noises and rubs slow circles on the small of her back until the last of her train-wrecking sobs subsides.

Clarke's rapid heartbeat slows down and she finally pulls away to look her father in the eyes. An embarrassed smile appears on her face when she realizes that they are still standing in the doorway. Jake quickly ushers his daughter inside, picks up her bag that she's dropped when he embraced her and closes the door.

He leads her in the kitchen and motions for her to sit down while he fills a kettle with water and turns it on. Grabbing a cup and a tea strainer, he fills the strainer with a blend and pours himself a glass of water. When the kettle indicates that the water is boiled he prepares the tea and places it in front of his daughter.

"What's that?" It's the first words she says and Jake almost flinches when he hears how small her voice sounds.

"Lavender. It has a calming effect and will help you sleep later."

Clarke nods. She places her hands on either side of the mug and slowly raises it to her nose. She closes her eyes as she inhales and her hands tremble. She takes a long sip before putting the cup down again.

Taking on of her hands in both of his, Jake asks his daughter, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

She continues to stare at the kitchen table for a moment longer before finally meeting her father's eyes.

"It's Bellamy."

"I assumed. What happened?" He asks, tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of her hand.

Her eyes follow the movement of his finger for a couple of seconds and Jake's pretty sure she isn't going to answer when she speaks again,

"I broke up with him." Her voice cracks at the end again and she refuses to look at him.

Jake stands up and walks around the table to crouch in front of his daughter, placing a hand under her chin and forcing her to look at him. Tears are glistening in her eyes again but she doesn't look away this time.

"I can't do this anymore, Daddy." There's the _'daddy'_ again. Clarke had stopped calling him _daddy_ when she was fourteen. "Being in a relationship with someone who is never home and living with the uncertainty of when or if I'll ever see him again. And I..."

"You don't want him to chose between you and his career. I understand that, Sweetheart. It's okay."

He puts a blonde strand, that escaped her bun, behind Clarke's ear. "You can stay as long as you want to, Baby girl."

Clarke nods and drinks some more of her tea.

Jake places a hand on her head and kisses her forehead. "Sweetheart, it's late. Go get some rest and tomorrow you and I are gonna make a little road trip, all right?"

She nods again, gulps down the rest of her tea and stands up to hug her father goodnight.

"I love you, Daddy!"

"Love you, too, Baby girl!"

Clarke takes her bag and goes to her room. She pulls out the shirt she couldn't stop herself from taking when she threw her clothes in the bag. It was an TonDc University shirt and it belonged to Bellamy.

Clarke pulls it over her head and then hugs herself when his familiar scent fills her nostrils.

She pulls her phone out of her bag and turns it on again after shutting it down in the car.

She has ten missed calls, four voice messages and half a dozen text messages.

Except for one, all calls are from Octavia, so are the four voice messages and four of the text messages.

Not wanting to deal with Bellamy's sister and listening to her insults, she deletes Octavia's messages and calls.

Raven's text, she opens though.

 _ **I'd pick u 1st! Call if u need anything.**_

A smile appears on her face. It's ridiculous how much Clarke loves her friend. After everything Raven and she have gone through, it was a miracle that the two women became so close. But if anything good came out of her relationship with Finn, it was Raven.

 _ **Call tmrw. Pick you 1st!**_

The other text is from Bellamy. For a moment Clarke hesitates to open it but in the end, curiosity wins.

 _ **At least tell me u r somewhere safe.**_

 _ **At my dad's.**_

Clarke should have known that Bellamy would still make sure that she was safe and taken care of. Her heart tightens and she quickly turns off her phone.

Clarke brushes her teeth and then slips under the sheets, hugging her pillow.  
There are no more tears; she is too exhausted to shed anymore tears. Her breathing evens out and she falls into a restless slumber.

* * *

 **Thank you _BookwormBecca99_ and _Guest_ for your reviews to the first chapter. You guys made me smile.**

 **I forgot to mention this the other day but obviously, the only thing I own is the plot, though I really wished those were my characters.**

 **Oh yeah, as you can see, Jake Griffin is still alive and before you ask, Clarke's parents are divorced.**

 **Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think.**

 **Love you guys!  
-K xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

 **YOU GUYS!  
Thank you so much, for all your lovely reviews. I'm so glad y'all seem to enjoy this, though it really is not a happy story so far.**

 **To answer _BookwormBecca99_ 's question: The next couple of chapters will be quite angst-y as well. The whole story will have a lot of angst and all I can promise you is that it'll get worst first. It really isn't a happy fic but I also don't want to spoil anything. I promise, that Bellamy won't die and that he'll return home but when and how things will be when he returns home is still a secret.**

 **So this is more of a filler chapter to show you the relationships between Clarke and other characters.**

 **This is definitely not one of my good chapters and I'm really sorry for that – I wrote it in a rush – but I still hope you enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: All I own is the plot.**

* * *

It isn't until forty-five minutes into their road-trip that Clarke decides to turn her phone back on. Her father refuses to tell her where they are going and Clarke's pouting which only amuses Jake. So instead of driving herself crazy with asking her dad a question she doesn't get an answer to, Clarke decides to make the phone call she promised Raven last night.

Her friend picks up after the second ring.

"Finally, Griffin, I'm waiting all morning already."

"Wow, Reyes. Didn't know you missed me that much."

Clarke can practically _hear_ Raven roll her eyes. Next to her, Clarke sees her father shake his head with an amused smile on his lips, Clarke grins at him.

"Not funny Griffin, I was the one who had to deal with a pissed off Octavia banging on my front door and demanding to tell her where the hell you are so she can punch you in the face for breaking her brother's heart. You really did it, didn't you Clarke?"

At the last part, the teasing in her friend's voice is gone. Raven knows about her feelings regarding Bellamy's deployments. She is the one, Clarke went to when Bellamy was oversea and she felt unsure of their relationship. Raven knows how difficult Bellamy's deployments are for Clarke.

A couple weeks ago when Bellamy's S.O. first called and her boyfriend told Clarke that he was contemplating his offer, she went to her best friend and confessed to her that she didn't think she would be able to continue this relationship when Bellamy thought of leaving again.

Yes, _when._ Clarke knows Bellamy. Of course he would leave and not neglect his duty. This had been one of the trades that Clarke had drawn to the man.

"It was the hardest thing I ever did, Raven. But I had to. You know I had to."

"I know, Sweety. And it was the right decision. Your feelings matter, too, Clarke. And I know that it breaks your heart as well."

The understanding in Raven's voice is a little too much for the young woman and a sob escapes her as her vision slowly gets blurry. She feels her father taking a hand off he steering wheel and grabbing one of her own, squeezing it tightly.

"God, Clarke. I'm so sorry that this had to happen. Please tell me what I can do to make you feel better. I hate seeing you like this; it breaks my heart, too, you know that. You deserve so much better." Raven's voice is strained and she knows her friend really means what she says. After every thing the two of them went through they are so tuned in onto the pain and the feelings of the other person.

"Let me crash at your place until Saturday?" Clarke suggests weakly.

"Of course, Clarke. When are you coming?"

"I don't know yet. My dad kidnapped me but he refuses to tell me where we're heading."

Raven barks out a laugh. She knows Jake and this was just _so typical_.

Jake seems to have mercy with her because he finally says, "Arkadia. We're visiting Wells."

Clarke's head snaps to her left and she looks at her father with huge eyes and a giant smiles slowly makes its way on her lips ans she whispers, " _Thank you!_ "

"Tell Jaha Jr. he still owes me that poker game." Raven remarks, making Clarke laugh.

"I'll tell him." She promises.

"Okay, Griffin. I want you to call whenever you need me and tell me when you're coming home."

"I will. Thank you for everything Ray. I'll text you later." Clarke is incredibly thankful to have a friend like Raven. She may be a sassy smart ass half of the time but she really cares.

"I'll always pick you first!" With that she hangs up and Clarke feels already better after talking to her best friend.

Again Clarke ignores all the messages she got from Octavia. There is also one from Bellamy from last night but Clarke doesn't open it. She does not delete it though.

For the next two hours she lightly chats with her dad and slowly the tightness lifts from her heart and breathing gets easier.

Once they stop in front of Wells' house Clarke feels herself smiling a real smile and when her friend runs out the front door to scoop her up in his arms and crush her against his chest, she even laughs.

Clarke hasn't realized how much she missed the man she grew up with. Now that he is a successful lawyer and Clarke decided to stay in TonDc after getter her MA they are both so busy that they haven't seen each other in months, although three hours isn't a very long drive.

But Wells spends most of his time in the court and when he's home, he takes cares of his pregnant wife and Clarke is attending one art show after the other and spends the rest of her time in her studio or with Bellamy and her friends.

"I've missed you, pumpkin."

"Missed you, too, asshole."

"Clarke language." But Jake's laughing and grabs Wells' shoulder to hug him as well.

"How's your father, Wells?" Her father asks.

"He's coming by tomorrow to see you guys." Wells answers.

Inside they find Wells' wife in the kitchen making tea and preparing a tray with scones.

"Roma!" Clarke embraces the other woman before stepping back and looking her up and down, smiling as she notices the small bump the brunette can't hide anymore..

"You look great. How are you and the baby?"

"Clarke, it's so good to see you. We're fine. We're really great. I have an appointment on Tuesday. They're going to tell us the sex." The young woman grins at Clarke.

"Wow, that's great."

"Yes, it is. What about you and Bellamy? You guys're finally engaged?"

At her words, Clarke winces. Everyone notices and Roma apologizes, although she has no idea what's going on.

They quickly change the topic and Roma starts telling her and Jake everything about her pregnancy. During their talk, Clarke feels Wells' eyes on her. It makes her nervous. She is pretty sure that he can tell exactly what is wrong.

After tea, Wells speaks up and asks Clarke to take a walk with him since they haven't seen each other in ages. It isn't really a question and neither Jake or Roma offer to come with them so Clarke doesn't even try to decline.

Wells doesn't wait with the questions, as soon as they step out of the door he demands to tell him what happened and so she does.

She tells him about her feelings towards Bellamy's deployments and about breaking up with Bellamy and driving to her father last night. Wells listens to everything she says and when she starts crying again, he stops and wraps her up in his arms and let the tears soak his shirt.

* * *

The weekend is over way too fast, in Clarke's opinion. She spends the rest of Saturday with Roma talking girls stuff while Wells and her dad do some grocery shopping and prepare a barbecue afterwards.

Sunday morning, Thelonious Jaha, Wells' father, drops by and they go fishing like they did when Wells and she still were in High School and Roma visits her parents.

Too soon it's 6 pm and Clarke and Jake have to say their goodbyes.

Wells is hugging her and Clarke tries not to cry. She had missed her best friend and after a great weekend, she does not want to return to the sad reality that is her life.

"You can do that, Clarke. And when you need me, call, please. And whenever you feel like it, stop by. I miss you." Wells says.

"I miss you, too." She whispers against his shoulder.

Roma is the next one to embrace her. "I'd really like to see you more often as well, Clarke. We want that the godmother of our child is a steady presence in our lives."

Clarke's head snaps up and she looks from Roma to Wells, who both grin at her.

"You... You're serious?" She stutters and they both nod.

With a squeak Clarke throws her arms around them both and kisses first Roma's cheek and then Wells'.

Soon after, Clarke finds herself back in her father's car and on the street. Closing her eyes, she tries to forget everything for a while and just think about the weekend she spent with her best friend and their family.

* * *

 **R & R?**

 **Love, Kat xx**


End file.
